1/31/01 11:14:59 PM

how wonderful it was one month ago tonight, dinner before with daria at sushi nights and then the hidden noise collective party with matt and hilary and micheal and charlie and everyone else who was there (ooh, and kris and dee) and all sorts of kisses at midnighta and dancing to salsa at sambuca but now i've had a rather melodramatic week of 1. putting personal things that need to get done that fill me with guilt that i'd rather not (ever) get into here off and feeling like a "typical man" and a bad one at that, and 2. feeling a bit of a flake for deciding to drop statistics though we all know math isn't my strong suit and an online class made me feel kinda stupid (besides, i couldn't afford another $700 class), and 3. speaking of online and stupid, table and javaScript hell at work has left me feeling useless and overpaid and again, kinda stupid... but my attitudes been good, i haven't lost any sleep, and if i keep showing up, its all gonna work out fine, and after contemplating 1. being true to myself and trying not to be who i've been before which is not only reassuring me now, but is shedding light on previous biases against past experiences and 2. concentrating on the big picture and arranging a meeting with berkeley to find out what i'm really gonna do and thinking about and doing personal work (like working at the depot bookstore or a cabinet maker(?) and getting my cgi on, both reading and freelance) before i kill myself with a huge school load and 3. just keeping at it because work is work and if it was fun, they wouldn't call it work and life at the moment is kinda like that too; my attitudes been good, i haven't lost any sleep, and if i keep showing up, its all gonna work out fine.

link: more josh davis (i think we have a friend in common (wink)), who's hooked up k10k's 100th issue - and dig those splash pages! oh yeah, and thanks casey; jd's once upon a forest. also, one might like to sign up for the groovysites mailing list.

on the deck: the smashing pumpkins' saimese dream.

reading: teach yourself cgi programming with perl in a week by eric herrmann, and wired and i think my almost 6 month long information binge is thankfully coming to a close. here's what i wish i was reading.