9/21/00 11:53:35 PM

micah is out here now, and he's currently being convinced that this is where he needs to be, but when i saw an affair of love last night, i was in paris with them as i was that november, three years ago - at the end of my rope knowing what was wrong and knowing how to make it right but that time came and went and everything was left unsaid (because since the beginning of the end - i'd never said it) but just yesterday - i spoke to her and then saw a film that put it so perfectly and remembered that i was supposed to follow my heart no matter what - because i never have and don't know if i'm really able to because i didn't do or say what i was supposed to - i came home and went to work and i'm still working because now that's the only thing i have and the only thing i really know how to do - and i do it well and my wanting to scream at the movie screen hasn't turned inward and i just knew that today i would forget *that* feeling while still remembering that i'll get another chance before too long and maybe then i'll be ready to take it because "it was an act of love, and that's all that mattered".

link: just found out that amon tobin has his own url, via perfect.

on the deck: stephen's shit.