Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
Six Months
Six months ago today, I packed up the last of my stuff, went and got my laundry, took a shower, and sat on the sofa as she laid with her head on my lap. I remember many many times over the first month or two wishing to God that six months would just simply pass, so I could just be over it and be on with my life. Some of that happened: six months did pass and I'm on with my life, but no matter the pills and the successes and the money and the fun and the stuff and the girl, I ain't over it, not by a long shot. However, I'm thinking on to the next six months: more school, more fun, more money, and then a move, vertical, horizontal, geographical; who knows? E is in NYC and we had a great time at Spiritualized and Captured by Robots before she left, and through the weekend of Cory's opening, pizza and a movie, dancing with Tammy to The Cure and The Psychadelic Furs with the door open and the cold pouring in, but oddly, I find myself missing her too, which I didn't expect, which makes me wonder what will happen when I'm up there and she's down here? Is this part of the cycle? M hurt me, I hurt S, R hurt me, I nearly killed D, L nearly killed me, then I hurt E here in about six months? Then what? More of the same? Thankfully, no, not more of the same, at least not on my end, never again. I learned my lessons harder than I think anyone should have to learn them and I am grateful for what the past six months has done for me: namely the pills and the successes and the money and the fun and the stuff and the girl and all the little things that have made life better and brighter than it has ever been before, and though what's coming may be (and probably will be) way better than I could have imagined, It can take its time and come at its leasure because I'm having a really good time right now.