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3-15-00

insite is a no go at the mo'; i'm glad i'm good at getting jobs. my thought process at the moment is saying "if i can't do what i want work-wise, what am i doing here? if i can't have one job that does it i should sink myself into an oblivion of work for the next few years, sequester myself and push forward." this is what i do anyway, as nothing is so important. nothing has changed. i'm still a bit perplexed - probably because my self esteem is so high!

i'm back to square one. i don't feel regression.

i think all of this is a problem, but i feel so good (not about my life, just in general) that i don't feel a pressing need to do anything about the problem; which may be the whole problem. thank god there are people in my life that have been through this sort of thing before. even i've been through this before.

i should write down the solution i use this time for the next time, except the solution has always been and always will be the same.

link: milan kundera on the cocktail party effect